For God’s sake, stop telling us how hot your wife is!

Having just left a small venue featuring a very energized speaker who stepped on my adult listening landmine twice within two hours, can I just beg all of humanity, especially Christians, even more especially those in Christian leadership and influence to please for God’s sake stop telling us about your smoking hot wife. Here’s why:

1-¬†You’re abusing your wife — The bible says something very specific about women. They are created in the image of God and redeemed in the image of Christ, which is much more than appearance. You cannot imagine how difficult it is, or will be as she ages, for your wife not to make her appearance and her worth the same thing. I think some men say this stuff because they think it either encourages their wives or it’s what they would want said of them. In either case, you’re wrong. You are creating in her false worth and you’re teaching others that it’s okay to do the same. You are setting her up for deep disappointment as beauty fades. Make character her worth because it grows more glorious with age.

2- You’re sounding like a child — When I here men doing this, I’m always left wonder why. Truly, what place did this have in your sermon, speech, or post. As I left today’s venue my heart melted for every young woman in this high school chapel that just had their worth boiled down to a cover girl shoot. The final straw for me was that he even had, and I kid you not, every married man in the room stand up for 10 seconds and scream how smoking hot their wives were. So here we had a gym full of young women with grown men screaming about their sexy hot wives. What about the young ladies who outwardly aren’t a “10”? What about the young ladies who culture wouldn’t even consider a “5”. My God, my heart hasn’t been so broken for people in some time. I left. Just couldn’t stay. The young guys in the room seemed to be right in step with the speaker. Chanted and repeating whatever he asked. It made sense then how their was such a connection. Research shows that you are most relationally connected to those closes to you in age, on either side, by a few years. While this speaker is no doubt a mature man in certain areas of his life, he was a 6th grader in this area.

3- You’re devaluing the church — Christ regularly speaks of himself being the groom or husband of his bride or wife the church. That’s our corporate reality before Christ. That relationship is so much more than physical and appearance driven. The objectification of women seeps into many areas of life, including how we view the church. Is there any wonder why the Church in the west struggles with superficiality. As a father of two girls I simply cannot imagine a context in which this is uplifting and appropriate. So much so, if my kids were going to this school. I would seriously consider pulling them out.

I have to assume well-meaning people do thoughtless things at times. I know I do. Christ didn’t give his life for your wives and daughters to have you turn His grace of creation into a source of constant agitation and dissatisfaction for them. I imagine it will be a hard habit to break, because I also imagine that those constantly doing these things struggle themselves with issues of worth. Our wives and daughters are worth more than their appearance, and we need to constantly reinforce their true worth as young ladies and women created and redeemed by God.

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